Blue Doggy Blues
Blew Pants Blues
BLEW PANTS BLUES
SHE WAS STANDING AT THE BAR
A VERY CROWED BAR
WHEN SHE HAD TO PEE
ON HER WAY TO PEE
SHE BRUSHED UP AGAINST ME
I CAME IN MY PANTS
IT SOAKED THROUGH
TO HER EVENING GOWN
IT MADE A STAIN
AND SHE COMPLAINED
"IT'S ALL STICKY LIKE GLUE"
SHE PUNCHED ME IN THE MOUTH
AND TOLD ME ALL ABOUT
HOW I'M A LOUSE
THEN KICKED ME
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
ABOUT THOSE BLOW IN MY PANTS BLUES
Continuing Adventures of Freddy the Fetus
Relaxing one day in his favorite spot in the womb, Freddy
Fetus became aware of an annoying tugging sensation. Ducking and
sidestepping Freddy soon became concerned for his safety. It
became apparent someone didn't have his best interest at heart.
Although the odds were overwhelmingly against him, Freddy decided
to deal with this menace by using a creative distraction. He
gathered up some odds and ends put them together in a glob and put
them in the path of the menace. With a speed and force that sent
chills down his just beginning to form spine, Freddy realized that this
was meant for him. As hard as it was for Freddy to believe, he was beginning
to understand. Pissed off he quickly began to devise a plan. About to
deal with a crisis no fetus has ever had the courage to oppose,
Freddy felt confident he would be victorious.
Girl, you gotta learn to take a little constructive criticism.
Everything you know is wrong, you do nothing right, and you
don't listen. If you'd just listen you might learn somethin. And
there you go with that attitude problem. Your arms are folded
and you're glaring at me. Look at you. Tryin ta start shit. Ya
know that pisses me off. Ohh, emotional blackmail, huh? Well
it ain't gonna work. So stop that cryin, right now, I demand it.
"BOOM" See what you made me do. That was a perfectly
good wall. And it's all your fault. See how you are. I should
just leave you. You don't know how good you got it. Nobody
else would have ya. OK, I'm ready for sex now. What's wrong
with you? Damn, you must be frigid or somethin. You know
you want it. I'm just gonna have to go somewhere else and get
it, you ain't no good for nuthin.
Blue Doggy Blues
It's about the people next door
to John Cougar Melon's camp.
The dog came over.
The kids spray painted it blue.
A collie dog.
Ernie comes home and says,
"You painted the Melon's collie
blue - yeah baby.
I hope he doesn't sue.
I got the melancholy blues baby,
I don't know what to do."
From now toward then, been be
to be, am beyond was is, are
happen were we we're will before.
For forward to come go going
gone, make made that this, the
did do doing done.
A no win situation,
is not to know when to say when.
A know when situation,
is to know when to say when.
People have their quarks about them.
Some know things from top to bottom.
Others have their ups and downs.
Some will see the charm in this.
Most will think it strange.
Starks running naked
Fleeing a cat
Stuff You Tell Kids