Stuff you tell kids
You know what I hate? I hate when your walking through the woods and happen
upon a weasel and it pops. You go whoa! What was that? Then you go "oh" just a
weasel popping. I mean when a weasel pops does it blow up? or does it just make
a popping kind of sound? Do you get spattered with blood and guts if one pops
right next to you? I've heard of puffer fish blowing up. I guess weasels take
it one step further and actually pop.
Have you ever known anyone who had a tuffet to sit on? I mean what is a tuffet
anyway? Some kind of little seat to sit on? what about curds and whey. Do you
take a bowl of curds and top it with whey? and eat it? That sounds kind of
disgusting. I think the spider got a bum rap. It's not the spiders fault the
girl had arachnophobia. I mean that's like specie profiling. Just because a few
spiders are bad doesn't mean they're all bad. Just think about how the spider
felt. All he did was sit beside her.
Say you're babysitting a kid and you want to sing him a lullaby to help him get
to sleep and have pleasant dreams. What do you sing? something soothing?
something that will take his mind off his troubles? something that will make
him feel safe?
Why not sing him a song about being in a cradle in a tree top blowing in the
wind, dangling from a brittle bough getting ready to break, moments from
falling to the ground, cradle, baby and all. That ought to make him feel safe
and carefree. He should be able to drift off to sleep and have pleasant dreams
after hearing that. I'd sure hate to hear what you'd tell him if you wanted to
terrify him. You wonder why so many people are afraid of heights, or have a
fear of falling.